Books (and Pieces) for Beasties

If childhood were to be split into time periods, like history, it would be fair to say that this year we are in 2017 BC....K. That is, Biff, Chip, Kipper, oh and Floppy! Yes, with a 5 year old in the midst of learning to read, we are painstakingly making our way through the 'exciting' adventures that befall Biff, Chip, Kipper, their parents and their dog. Many of these were published before I was born and some versions that come home in the book bag are looking a little dog eared! At a time when reading should be fun for children, encouraging them to find a love for stories, I've been on a mission to create an exciting collection of titles for the girls.

I came across Books and Pieces through Babease, a range of organic food. Amanda, founder of Books and Pieces sent through a wonderful collection of first books for Florence including a buggy book, bath book, flaps book and even an indestructible book! (if you have young children, you NEED one of these!).

When Amanda announced she was creating a Parent Panel, I got in touch. Not only was this a chance to review books, encouraging the girls to explore some new titles but also help a small business to grow. I was so pleased to hear I had been chosen amongst some other great ladies. You can read all about the members of the Parent Panel here  A few months ago, we received an exciting parcel from Books and Pieces with some great titles in. This is our round up of the books we received and why you should give them a go. Don't miss the discount code at the bottom!

Usborne Look Inside Your Body

I'd mentioned to Amanda that Isabella had a growing interest in facts and we were starting to think about what happens in our body. It is also important to keep learning fun and Amanda absolutely came up trumps with this one.

There's flap books...and then there's flap books!! This non fiction book contains over 100 flaps and makes learning about your body so much fun.

Isabella went straight for this one and has already started repeating facts about the body to us. Her interest in non fiction spans from dinosaurs, under the sea and now your skeleton and and where food goes.

Where's my teddy? by Jez Alborough

I actually remember this story from my childhood so there was something a little nostalgic about seeing this book as we opened the parcel. With nice short phrasing, this book is also perfect for younger ones with incredibly short attention spans! The rhyme makes it an easy read and the story is just a little heartwarming. It has the type of ending that makes you go 'ahhh' (happy sigh).

The Princess and the Wizard by Julia Donaldson

In this house, we are big fans of Julia Donaldson books. I'm pretty sure there's no such thing as a bad Julia Donaldson book. One of the first of her books that Isabella and I read was Stickman and it has remained a firm favourite. We had not yet come across The Princess and the Wizard so it was really nice to find a new JD story.

This story takes elements of classic fairytales and turns it into a modern day Princess story. Also, refreshing to see a lead female character who is capable of saving the day without the help of a handsome prince. After all, we are trying to raise strong girls!

Sharing a shell by Julia Donaldson

Hmm, sharing. Interesting word. One that we're currently using quite a lot. Florence is now at the age where she is very interested in what Isabella is doing and what she has. However, surprisingly, she isn't the one we are telling to share! No! It turns out, Happyland characters and Duplo, toys for babies, are actually incredibly enticing to five year olds!

Sharing a Shell not only helps children to understand the principle of sharing in rhyme (this is another fantastic Julia Donaldson read, by the way) but also satisfied Isabella's hunger for learning about under the sea. A big hit!

The Goggle-Eyed Goats by Stephen Davies

In our selection of books to review was this title. Amanda mentioned on her note she had added something a little different to our selection! I had never heard of this book but it really stood out with its bright colours and quirky title.

I really like this book as it is a great introduction to the idea of other cultures. Old Al Haji Amadu, the owner of the goggle-eyed goats has 3 wives! I'm expecting some interesting questions from Isabella at some point when we read this again. The story is fun and entertaining. Perhaps just flick through in advance to brush up on your pronunciations!

The Beautiful Patterns Colouring Book

Amongst our selection of books was this amazing colouring book! It's packed with so many different scenes and patterns to colour. A vegetable patch, different breeds of dog, Russian dolls- so many to choose from! I'm very particular when it comes to colouring so for example, things need to be as they are supposed to be and should match what they are in reality. However, having children that is never going to happen and Isabella and I have enjoyed working on our colouring in this book together (purple and green stripey dogs!)- although I've even done some on my own after bedtime! This book is jam packed and great value for money.

It's been great fun reading some brand new stories and I'm already eyeing up some new titles for stocking fillers- yes, sorry, the C word is upon us!

If you'd like to order some books for your beasties in time for Christmas, Books and Pieces do some great deals with 3 for £10.

Amanda has also very kindly provided a discount code- enter Beasties10 at the checkout for 10% off! 

Happy reading!

Spinning plates and smashing others

It's hard to believe that in just over two months, the youngest beasty, Flo Flo will be 1! Easily the quickest year of our lives so far, Florence is doing new things everyday with an excellent big sister to teach her. Crawling is imminent so growing eyes in the back of my head would be a great human evolutionary feature right now! I've been back in work nearly two months (with a holiday slotted in) and quite honestly, it's been really tough. Whilst it's nice to not have to ask for pocket money anymore and gain some adult interaction, there is a lot more to think about and less time to do it all. Unfortunately, there's only so many plates you can spin and some of mine have broken slightly and others have shattered. Despite this, you have to celebrate the ones that are still spinning, even the small wins.

The Smashed Ones

Social life

I miss drinking coffee and eating cake after swimming on a Wednesday. Florence and I enjoyed many Mummy-baby social gatherings during maternity leave. Mummy friends kept me sane as we compared sleep deprivation, sick stains and parenting wins and fails.

March 2017

Texting

I'm so sorry! I probably haven't text you back! I will, soon.

Running

Running has always been a form of therapy for me. It just clears my head and keeps me sane when, as a parent there is so little time to do that. With broken sleep, 10 hours a day away from my beasties and a boob-hunting baby, running has been put on the back burner.

Blogging

This makes me sad! Writing my blog is also another escape. It's something that is mine. I don't have to share it like my chocolate bar. I'm working on getting this one back up, starting with some work as part of a Parent Panel, encouraging children to read.

Housework

I hate that this plate is looking a little chipped but housework has definitely taken a knock. I'm trying to stress less about this one, it just gets done when we have time.

The Spinning Ones

The children are alive!

Hurrah! They're fed, clothed and mostly clean- don't ask after a mealtime!

My relationship is alive

We're like passing ships with going to work so, our time together has recently taken a huge knock. Despite this, between us, we're working out everything together as we go. Communication is a hundred percent key and the bickering is minimal!

Mama Guilt

I can't stop spinning this one! I wish I could drop it but it's there, all the time. Guilty about going to work, guilty about making sandwiches for dinner sometimes, guilty about wanting time on your own, afterall I've been at work all day, every other minute should be devoted to the girls, right?

Doing my job

After 9 months away from work, it's nice to go back and have a purpose other than mummy. I can work and drink HOT coffee whilst doing it!

Staying sane

I feel this plate has wobbled occasionally but I've let others smash in order to keep this one going. You can't do everything.

Staying sane, having a holiday!

That is important; it's best to do some things well, instead of more, not so well. My social life light is flickering back into life and my trainers aren't at the very bottom of the shoe pile any more, so the plates don't stay broken forever. Here's to the Greeks, who at least smash theirs in style!

The side-effects of parenting

When I was deciding what to write about this week, I was close to going down the route of being a working parent and the whole lack of sleep thing. In all honesty, it was just going to end up as a massive whinge about how exhausting this all is and really, who wants to read about that? Feeling sorry for myself isn't going to get me anywhere! So, I've decided to be a little more light hearted about the whole situation and laugh about it instead! Feels strange to say I've been a parent for over 5 years now and these are some of the main unfortunate side effects. Basically, annoying parenting things made to sound like illnesses...although some could be dinosaurs... 

Washing-all-the-time-irus

Clothes, dishes, the floor in the restaurant you took the kids to, after most of the meal ended up on the floor. Yep, if your washing machine isn't constantly spinning and you haven't wiped up your baby's regurgitated crusty tomato puff from the highchair, are you even a parent though? 

Pick-out-the-bits-osis 

Requirements: magnifying glass, rag to mop sweat from brow, patience of a Saint. 

Blackcurrants in the blackcurrant jam, rosemary on the roasties, peas in the risotto. After a good 20 minutes of searching and dispatching of bits then proudly presenting bit-less meal, expect your eagle eyed beasty to shout 'I found a bit! Can you get it?'. Stay strong- you're not alone! 

Plastic Crap-itus 

Potentially the most audible side effect. Sounds of annoyance range in pitch and frequency but are ultimately expressed when treading on plastic crap, finding plastic crap in your footwear or the crescendo- screaming that you've had enough of the plastic crap and throwing it all the bin... Only to buy more to appease the beasties on your next outing. 

Swelling

Side effect has a number of causes. Swelling may be caused mostly by pride or overeating. Side effect will continue throughout your children's childhood and is at its peak during events such as first smile, first word spoken, sports day and continuing to exercise your right to two breakfasts. 

Cooking-meals-no-one-likes-rsym

A frustrating side effect that is difficult to avoid. Tends to rear its ugly head when children have learnt to say 'no' and continue until they leave home. Condition is incredibly subjective but safe options (for when there's no wine around) tend to be cheese or carbohydrate based. Perfect for encouraging aforementioned swelling! 

Mess allergy

Do you break into a sweat as the toy box lid opens? Do you clench your teeth when the box of crayons is tipped upside down to find the pink one that isn't even there? Do you itch as food is hurtled from the highchair (but your forced to just observe- you have to let them explore, it's a good sensory experience they said)? No antihistamine to cure this one, I'm afraid. 

Let's-walk-even-slower-injury

Expect to become a professional motivational speaker within a couple of trips after deciding to go cold turkey with the pushchair.

Outloud: 'yes! You can do it, we're nearly there! Just around the corner, well done!' 

Inside: come on, is it even possible to walk any slower. I think we should just give up and sit here on the pavement forever.

A scooter actually makes things slower...

Hiding-my-treats-ache

Having children means sharing treats but sometimes, just sometimes working out how to split that chocolate bar into 'fair' portion sizes is just one sum too far. Perfectly acceptable side effect: your own personal stash of 'it was a hard day, I deserve this!' 

Repetitive-pick-it-up-again-syndrome

Side effect most commonly identified by bending down again, and again, and again to retrieve a dummy, maraca, soft toy or favourite household item moonlighting as a plaything. Often met by heckling, laughing and screams of excitement at this wonderful new game of parenting torture. 

By no means a definitive list but feel safe in the knowledge that your side effects are a perfectly normal result of parenthood. Prescribed coping methods include deep breathing (large sighs), forced enthusiasm for PVA glue and glitter and referring to mess as abstract art. 

8 wonderful things about a heatwave when you have children

It is inevitable; in the UK, after a few days of soaring temperatures, we seem to forget we live in a country of unpredictable weather and grow a little overconfident that the heat is here to stay. Clearly a typical Brit I was brave enough (and stupid) to leave the house this morning without an umbrella and souwester, brazenly strolling into town in palazzo pants, sandals and a T-shirt.
I was punished for my brash behaviour with a downpour on the way home. I hurriedly made a makeshift cover for Florence with a blanket whilst watching other unsuitably clothed people dashing for cover. However, for once the rain has been welcome! The last few days have been on the warm side. Great for improving the tan, not as much fun with babies or children to keep cool when as a country, we're so unprepared for any type of extreme weather. These are the best bits about a heatwave when you have children:

1. Applying suncream 

We know why we apply suncream, I'm more than grateful for its existence but WHY does it need to be so sticky and awkward? The morning suncream application is left until a few minutes before we leave for the school run to avoid greasy marks on the doors. After a day outside, running around, making dens, playing hide and seek, you are guaranteed to find the suncream you applied has gathered in creases. Neck creases, arm creases, along with perhaps some stray hair, residual food and dirt. Just lovely.

2. Sweat 

Adding to the lovely layer of sticky suncream, just what you need is sweat. Clammy, wet hands clutching yours to cross the road and wet hair clinging to the nape of your baby's neck make cool baths before bed essential!

3. Cuddles 

Why does hot weather make children more clingy?! I love cuddling my girls but a heatwave makes it difficult to hold your children and not perspire furiously. Florence is especially clingy wanting to feed more frequently. I've actually had to wipe my arm with a towel as if I had spilled water there!

4. Fighting for the fan 

The hot weather can bring out the irritable side in all of us and petty bickering can be brought about when deciding who is the hottest person and should have the fan first.

5. Pram parasols 

Bane of my life! You get the shade at just the right angle as you go out, excellent. Walking along and you take a turn, left or right; bam, full on sunshine right into the pram! Argh! Time to stop and twist and turn the parasol, tracking the sun to work out where it should go. It ends up sticking out of the side of the pram taking up the whole pavement.

6. Insects 

"Mummy, get the moth! I don't like moths!" "Mummy, I saw a flying spider by the window" Having all the windows and doors open in the hope a non existent breeze floats through comes a price. That price is bugs! Sometimes I have to remind myself I'm the adult and I'm responsible for the reassurance and capturing- even though I hate moths too!

7. Mealtimes

Seriously, who wants to cook during a heatwave?! Without children, it doesn't matter so much. You can eat what you like, when you want. However, children need meals and trying to come up with nutritious, minimal effort/no cooker dinners in hot weather is hard! We seem to end up grazing and snacking throughout the day and eating a lot of Isabella's favourite thing, sandwiches- horray!

8. Bedtime 

"But it's hot and sunny still!" Yes, yes it is but it's still bedtime!! Once we've bartered and finally agreed on an additional half an hour of playtime, it's into (or onto- who wants a quilt on in the heat?!) bed with the fan full on. After managing to stay relatively cool, the fan is sacrificed to of course, keep our darling children cool whilst mummy and daddy sit downstairs staying as still as possible to avoid overheating!


And then just like that, summer ends with a downpour. After moaning about the heat, we lament its passing and wish the rain would stop again after once agreeing "oh yes, it's good for the garden". Thanks summer 2017, it's been a blast- now, where's my woolley jumper?

Back to work & the 'b' word

It's Tuesday morning and I've left the house; notepad, lunch (I WILL pre-prepare and not spend a fortune), water bottle (a posh one with built in straw as that's what makes you drink more water, right?), breastpump (always tell everyone in the house when you sterilise the night before- the peanut butter knife is not welcome in the washing up bowl!) and a minor case of nerves. The kind I imagine you get the second night of performing a stage show. Not as bad as the first night because you've done it before but you know it won't be exactly the same this time around.

My first full day back at work! 

We've never exactly done things the conventional way. Lee and I aren't married (scandalous!) and after having Isabella, I was the one to return to work full time whilst Lee worked weekends. At the end of the day, you have to do what works best for your family. So, closing the front door after double checking I had everything, I knew that he would have everything relatively under control. This time around, it will be a little different as we'll both be working in the week but different hours in the hope to avoid having to fork out for childcare for as long as possible and, as an unintentional side effect, avoid each other! {insert whinge about ridiculous childcare costs for working families here}.

Look forward to receiving these again!

I'd say I was fairly lucky to enjoy what I do. It'd be a lie to say everyday was sunshine and rainbows but what job is? I'm not officially back until mid July but hoping that by doing a few days here and there in the lead up to it will make it easier to get back into the swing of things!

And how did it go? Like I'd never been away. The usual phone calls, the occasional swear word, and the same arguments over the office playlist. The only added hurdle was subtly trying to excuse myself from my desk to pump. Working in an office with predominantly male colleagues made this great fun and after my strategically long pause "I just need to go and errr......" was met only with a raised eyebrow, I got straight to the point "use my breastpump". Cue mutual feelings of awkwardness and embarrassment at a mention of the 'b' word!

I met Lee after work at the swimming pool for Isabella's lesson to find that his day had in fact been, quote, 'easy'.

Now, I absolutely did not want the day to go badly for anyone. The thought of Florence being upset without me is heartbreaking but equally, is it bad that I at least hoped he'd find the day challenging?! Two school runs (on time), quite a few dirty nappies, messy mushy veg dinner, some crying and the logistics of holding a baby whilst changing a 5 year old into a swimming costume. I mean really, thats some feat! Definitely not to be sniffed at.

We all finally made it home just before 7 after a few moans of 'I'm too tired to walk, my legs don't work'- and that was just me! After 8 months away from work, I was sooo tired. Granted, Florence is still up every 2 hours or so. This back to work business is going to take some adjusting but I can go back safe in the knowledge that everything is ok. (Until they get ill, I mean, that's a whole different kettle of fish. Jokes- he'll be fine...)

How to bake an election cake

The ingredients

- 2oz of questionable manifestos
- 5oz taxation
- 150ml budget cuts
- 4oz privatisation
- Pinch of strong and stable
- Drop of we're all in this together
- Whole load of mud slinging

It's essential to add glugs of bias reporting throughout the stirring process. Continue to add to taste.

The process 

All a bit messy really! It's best to add the ingredients slowly and mix as you go but hell, we only have 7 weeks. Chuck everything in together and mix as fast as possible. The aim is to make everything a blur and create as much chaos and confusion as possible. Don't worry if bits splash out, it tends to be bits of manifesto. Hopefully when it's baked, people will forget those parts were included in the first place. If you change your mind about any of the ingredients throughtout the mixing process, it's best to wait until the mix is baked. You can then easily remove the parts you don't like anymore. However, you should be prepared that some people liked those ingredients you then take away and they'll be angry that the finished product tastes different.

The bake 

The bake must start at 7am and finish at 10pm. Everyone, if they're old enough, gets a say in how your cake bakes. Some turn the temperature up, others turn it down, some change the shape. Others like to just observe and not contribute to how the cake bakes. If the non contributors don't like the cake at the end, others will be annoyed with them for not expressing how they'd like it.

The finished product 

There's a feeling of anticipation about the finished cake. Although lots of people contributed, it can't turn out how everyone wants it. There may be some burnt bits that leave a bitter taste but other parts might taste good. What tastes good for one person, might not be so good for others. After all, we're all different. Once everyone has tasted and expressed their views, some louder than others, it's time to clear up. A lot of people forget about the cake for another 5 years but every now and then we're reminded about the cake and ultimately, it will affect everyone in one way or another. Someone is bound to notice that part of the manifesto that splashed up the wall during the mixing, only to be hastily wiped away was actually missing from the cake!

Whether we enjoy the finished cake or not, we all had the chance to contribute to it. Whichever way it comes out, I'm sure Mary Berry would agree, it's unlikely to rise evenly and will contain occasional distasteful laairs (layers).

Five and fussy: The poem

Last week, Isabella came home and announced "I ate some cress!" Say what?! To ensure we were talking about the same thing, I asked her what cress was. "It's got leaves, it's green". OK, sounds like she did eat cress! Up until this point, anything remotely green coloured has not passed Isabella's lips (unless it contains gelatin and colouring has been added to make it that way).

When it's just the two of you, wondering what to eat for tea (dinner, whatever you call it) can be a challenge but easily resolved by ordering a takeaway. 2011BK (before kids), Lee and I lived in a flat in the centre of town and ordered in, A LOT. When you have children, it isn't so straightforward. Can you imagine the teacher pulling you to one side to ask if Papa John is a relative?! (other pizza brands are available) We try our best, especially during the week to cook varied meals and try to encourage Isabella to try things other than ham sandwiches with tomato sauce. It's not easy and more often than not, we're faced with sheer dogged determination not to give into the pleas to give it a try. I've put together a little piece about the daily challenge of having a fussy child; nothing more fulfilling than scraping a untouched plate into the bin!

It begins with determination 

We'll all eat together today 

Just one meal I will cook

3 different ones? No way! 

We'll all sit around the table 

Get excited about our dinner 

This one is sooo yummy

You'll love it, it's a winner 

The plate goes down in front of you

All our breath we hold 

It's clear to see by your wrinkled nose

You're most definitely not sold

We exchange a quick glance

Determined we must be

"Try this little bit here

You'll love, you will see!" 

We pick up our forks, resilient 

Being sure to comment "oh yes

This is so delicious 

Definitely Mummy's biggest success"

The meal goes untouched

"I don't like it" you say

"Can I have something else

I'll try this one another day"

Compromise is the next stage

Bargain with you, we try

"Just 2 mouthfuls please"

Speaking gently, we don't want you to cry

Alas, your bottom lip wobbles

Your eyes begin to fill with tears 

Suddenly, terrible parents we feel 

We hope this doesn't go on for years 

I let out an audible sigh 

Another meal goes in the bin 

Right now this feels hard 

Strength we must find from within! 

Making something nutritious

But a meal you will eat

Is something a lot of parents battle

A mutual agreement we try to meet 

We tell you "it's ok"

And give you a big cuddle 

Something else we'll make you

Let's not get in a muddle 

We've been here before 

It's not worth getting stressed

It's all part of parenting

Yet another test 

We won't force her to eat

In her own time, we know she'll try

Broccoli, sprouts, green beans

I used to hate them all, I can't lie

From being understanding

Progress we have seen

A little empathy and encouragement goes a long way

Remember, children we have all been 

'It's a sick stain' and 11 other reasons you know you're on maternity leave

Looking back 5 years, I don't recall much of my maternity leave with Isabella. What I do know is that this time around I have thrown myself head first into the groups and clubs and tried to make the absolute most of what will be my last maternity leave- yes, no more babies thank you very much. Been there, done that, got the kids and the scar! The best thing about being off work is probably just that. The idea that for a few months to a year, your time is devoted to your baby as you stumble around trying to figure parenthood out. I'm still trying to figure it out... There's been more FMLs than I can count and oh my days sometimes it feels impossible but I'm coming to the end of this time and it makes me sad that it has to end! These are my moments of realisation that this is not some holiday, no, this is maternity leave!

1. You discuss the consistency of poo

I'm absolutely not one for toilet talk and conversations about number twos make me cringe- especially when it's male office banter! However, when you have a baby, the matter of THEIR poo is a whole different kettle of fish. The midwife will ask you if your baby has done a poo within a few hours of birth and after that, you'll find it to be a hot topic and everyone asks about your baby's poo. Mushy, firm, poonami, pooplosion, straining, up-the-back-job, all familiar!

2. You talk about how time flies aaalll the time

I get sick of myself talking about time but it really feels like it's in short supply! That is, except for 3am when the twenty minutes it takes to get the baby back to sleep is the longest twenty minutes ever!! Take all the photos and max out your SD card with home films! This year is definitely feeling like my quickest yet and it makes me feel like my Granny talking about how time flies- but she's so right.

3. You frequently get to the end of the day and find dried sick on your clothes

Still smiling!

Over the back of the shoulder, down the leg and even on the shoe! Baby sick seems to get everywhere and sometimes, especially if you're out of the house, you just have to try and rub it in and hope you can get away with it! The white, milk sick stains weren't so bad to deal with but now we're weaning, sick is often tinged with orange and leaves an attractive sunset hue- a beautiful contrast on white!

4. Your friend has seen your nipple

Yep. She did. And told me, narrowly saving me from the man sat over the way who may have fallen off his chair. Breastfeeding is great fun, especially when babies get bigger and pull off halfway through let down to have a nose around. Cue a milk soaking all around and potential shouts of #freethenipple! Lets be honest though, when you give birth, a lot of people see a lot of things you didn't ever consider showing to a room full of men and women. It's like that bad dream when you're naked on stage. When you drop your dignity at the maternity entrance to give birth, don't pick it up on the way out. Go back for it in a few years.

5. 10pm is a late night

Beyond 10pm and I start to wonder what the hell I've been doing for the last two hours when I could have been sleeping. The answer is usually Netflix (back to back Suits episodes), eating and nothing else! I've been a reluctant early night, early morning girl for a while now, having kids tends to do that to you. Don't fight it, it's cool.

6. You wonder how your parents coped with raising you when CBeebies didn't exist

The TV is not on all the time but when you need to make dinner or get ready to go out, children's TV is a life saver! It's completely head frying half the time and I do not understand how Postman Pat is still in a job when he pools ALL the Royal Mail's resources (a van, a motorbike and a helicopter) on one delivery and still isn't able to get that right. However, as with everything, it has its time and place and it definitely reduces stress levels.

7. You have to ask your partner/husband for pocket money

Quality time with your children is amazing but I'm so poor. Those who worked prior to giving birth will likely have taken a huge pay cut in order to stay at home with their baby for a few months and quite often, returning to work is more expensive than not working at all with sky high childcare costs. It seems so completely backwards. Criticised for not working, criticised for abandoning your children to further your career. Its a lose lose!

8. You consider contacting McVities to be an official biscuit tester

On a less serious note, I hope no one has been secretly totting up how many biscuits I've got through on maternity leave. I don't want to know!

9. You have a whole new group of friends you never would have met if you hadn't been pregnant with at the same time

Up there with some of the best parts of maternity are the new baby mummy friends. You're never going to get on with everyone but I'm so grateful for the new friends I've made through having Florence and other babies that I hope she'll grow up with.

10. Strangers talk to you...a lot

Everyone loves a baby. Especially older people. In lifts. You can't get in a lift with someone without them having a peek in the pram and asking how old or what their name is. No matter what your answer and even if your child's name is Voldemort, the response is preset to 'aww how lovely'. Sometimes they like to touch their faces. Please don't touch.

The Sleep Thief

11. You understand why sleep deprivation is a form of torture

Lack of sleep is horrible. It isn't just waking up in the night a couple of times and going back to sleep. It's waking up, feeding, perhaps changing a nappy; basically caring for another human being in between naps of varying length. Sleep deprivation turns me into the worst version of myself. Snappy, spotty, mood swinging crazy women with no short term memory. 4 hours sleep in a row is the most amazing thing ever.

12. You wonder how every other parent has their s**t together

Why is it that when you are struggling, it looks like every other mother has it all together? Perfect hair, painted nails, clean clothes, clean children. After particularly bad nights, I'll avoid any glances at my reflection at all costs when out shopping. The lighting is oh so flattering on eye bags. The thing about staring jealously after the woman with her darling cherubs is that she probably doesn't have it together. Maybe she does right now and we can't all the time. We're all mothers doing the best job we can, wiping the snot, changing the nappies and raising the beasties. So be kind, always and make the absolute most of the bad and the good. They're only young once.

Yep, definitely one for the album!

Weaning a beasty- The veggie way

Oh my goodness, I can't quite believe 6 months have past. Time speeds up a hell of a lot after 1 child but after 2, I'm afraid if I blink for too long I may miss something.

It still amazes me that for the first 6 months(or thereabouts) of a baby's life, they thrive on nothing but milk. Florence has grown from a tiny, skinny little thing into a real chunk with rolls and an extra chin! We're now entering a new and exciting phase- weaning! As with most things, ways to wean evolve and certain ways are more popular than others.

When I had Isabella, puree was the way most went. There were rumours of this baby led business but it was mostly perceived as all a bit 'hippy-ish'. The creation of pouches had also come into being, a suitable balance of organic goodness, with the ease of a jar but without the added sugar and other ingredients you can't pronounce. 'Natural' was becoming the way to go, and rightly so!

Today, baby led weaning is far from a swear word and is actively encouraged by health visitors. The benefits of weaning this way include:

- Eating what you eat- exploring new tastes

- Feeling new textures- a sensory experience

- Joining in with family meals

In a lot of cases, baby led weaning results in less fussy eaters- so they say!

Approaching 6 months, we started to consider how we would wean Florence. We chose to wait to wean following national guidelines but other babies may be weaned earlier for various reasons including reflux and dietary issues. We decided that we will be weaning with both purees and finger food.

Vegetable Led Weaning

After doing some research, I came across Babease, a relatively new baby food company using premium organic produce following their pledge to create 'food for babies, not baby food'.

Developed by a chef and nutritionist, Babease create handy food pouches and use a variety of vegetable combinations that introduce a whole range of flavours to a brand new palate. From 7 months, a variety of mild herbs and spices are added to expand a baby's taste experience further.

"Studies have shown that babies who eat a wide variety of vegetables during complementary feeding go on to eat more vegetables in later childhood (up to 7 years) than those that don’t" Babease

Whilst I have begun to make a number of purees myself (carrot, sweet potato and spinach, parsnip and broccoli) as well as offering softened fingers of veg, food pouches are incredibly convenient when on the go or when a quick meal is needed. Babease were kind enough to send us a few different ones to try. Our favourite so far is butternut squash, carrot and broccoli. Unlike other pouches we've previously tried that have had a watery consistency, Babease puree (for 6 months) is smooth but firm, providing a food tasting experience as opposed to a drink! Having tasted these myself also, the combinations are delicious and the addition of grains, pulses and seeds provides a satisfying, digestible meal for babies.

What we're using

Although not much is needed for the baby led weaning part, except perhaps an open mind and learning to recognise the difference between gagging and choking, I have stocked up on a few bits to help with the process.

- A highchair
Luckily, we kept our highchair that Isabella previously used so have not needed to purchase a new one. We have the Chicco Happy Snack Highchair which I love for its reclining seat and chuck in the washing machine, removable padded seat and back.

Mmm avocado

- Bowls and Spoons
Supermarkets stock a range of spoons and fancy bowls with sections and compartments. I actually found some great Nuby storage pots, spoons and a travel bowl and spoon set in a local pound shop which saved me quite a bit of money. The benefit of a brand such as Nuby or Tommee Tippee is the reassurance of BPA free products that are steriliser safe.

- Blender
Although specialist sets can be purchased with a built in steamer (fancy!), we have a Breville Active Blender from the protein shake days that does exactly what we need.

- Ice cube tray
Perfect for freezing and subsequently storing purees in handy portions, we have this one. The bottom is silicone to make it easier to push out the cubes into freezer bags.

- Bibs
Dribble bibs can be great initially but long term, something more heavy duty is required. We'll be using long sleeved bibs such as these to keep clothes stain free as well as a food catcher one to minimise mess!

- Floor mat
A floor mat is definitely useful for catching the inevitable food dropping from little hands. These aren't essential and can be expensive. A pack of disposable toddler bed mats are just as good.

The next step

We've just begun weaning with Florence and we're excited about following vegetable led weaning in the hope it will benefit her in the future. We'll also be introducing meat, starting with fish such as salmon in the hope she won't be as fussy as her big sister. Watch this space!

* Babease food pouches are available to purchase from a number of stores. We were provided a number of pouches to try, free of charge in exchange for an honest review. All views are my own. 

Through the sunroof- An honest account of an emergency c-section

Last Wednesday I was lucky enough to attend a TalkAbout session at my local midwife led unit. A TalkAbout is an opportunity to go through your hospital casenotes from your birth and discuss what happened to you; particularly useful for filling in the gaps or if it was in anyway traumatic.

I arrived and was greeted by Nikki, a TalkAbout midwife who had read through my file and had everything ready for us to go through.

Since having Florence, I've thought about my birth experience a lot, probably at least once a day. I'd written down a number of questions in preparation, hoping that this session would bring me some sense of closure.

Before the birth

7 month bump

At around 18 weeks, at our second scan it was discovered I had a low lying placenta. A low lying placenta is where the placenta is positioned in the lower part of the womb and can be covering the cervix, preventing a natural delivery. I was reassured this was relatively common at this stage and "11 out of 12 will move in time for you to give birth". At this point, I felt completely reassured and confident that I could still have the birth I so hoped for.

Skip to 32 weeks after a number of other scans and it was confirmed my placenta hadn't yet moved and my notes now showed I did indeed have placenta praevia. Unfortunately there is nothing that can be done to resolve this. I was booked in for fortnightly scans and it was a case of waiting and watching this space to see if it would move in time for a natural birth.

At 35+1 weeks, I woke up in the night to feel what I thought my water breaking but to discover there was blood everywhere. As we had been instructed, Lee called an ambulance; if I were to go into labour, a rupture of the placenta could cut off supply to the baby. It was so worrying but thankfully after a couple of nights in hospital, plenty of tests and steroids to develop baby's lungs in case it happened again, I was discharged to come home and rest.

During my time in hospital it was decided I should be booked in for a planned c-section as I was getting close to term and things hadn't changed at my last scan. The date was set for 15th November and I had a couple of weeks to get my head around it and finally realise I was the 1 of the 11 whose placenta wouldn't move!

Leading up to the date, I felt like a ticking time bomb, constantly worrying about having another bleed...and on 10th November, that I did.

The birth

After waking up again in the night to once again find I'd had a bleed, I called ahead to the Maternity Unit who advised I should come in via ambulance should labour start to happen- another ambulance, ooh what were the neighbours thinking?! This time, I started to feel tightenings but they weren't painful and I had a lovely chat with the paramedic on the way to the hospital ready to go through the same process as last time.

And so begin my notes from the TalkAbout session (in italic)

2.20am arrival and attached to the monitor
3.55am saw Registrar and category 2 emergency c-section confirmed. Consultant informed. 2 x units of blood ordered

After being hooked up to the monitor for about an hour and a half, it was pretty clear that I had started to get contractions and after an internal examination it was confirmed I was 1cm dilated. The Registrar advised he wanted to go ahead with a c-section. I asked him when? His response- now. I will literally never forget that word. I should probably add at this point, I was on my own. Lee had stayed at home with Isabella and he and my parents were waiting to hear what the situation was- as we all thought I'd just come home! I immediately rang Lee and so the logistical nightmare began for a journey that would take about an hour- the exact amount of time I had until I would be going into theatre.

4.25am into theatre- increased contractions
4.46am spinal and catheter

After the monitor had started to pick up an increase in contractions, the registrar was keen that we proceed to theatre to at least get prepped whilst we waited for Lee to arrive. I rang him in a panic worrying that I was going to end up having this baby on my own. He was on his way but said if the worst came to the worst and they needed to get the baby out before he arrived, just to do it. It must have killed him to say that but it was exactly what I needed to hear. I just needed to focus on this baby arriving.

4.55am Lee arrived

When Lee walked into theatre, I actually thought it was a doctor. Haha, he'll love that I put that. He was in scrubs and looked like an extra from Holby City had just joined the team. He took his seat next to my head (and held the bowl whilst I threw up) and the drapes were raised so I couldn't see below my midriff.

5.09am knife to uterus
5.10am baby born
5.11am clamped and cut
5.12am placenta out
5.13am baby wrapped

After a few moments of silence, some cringeworthy cutting sounds, the registrar and assisting surgeon began tugging. It has to be said it's one of the strangest feelings. I could feel pressure and myself moving around on the table, its fair to say pretty uncomfortable but no pain (at this point). After what seemed like forever, there was a gargled cry and our baby was lifted out. I burst into tears and was completely overwhelmed. Lee turned to me and asked if I wanted to know what we'd had. "Yes!! Of course I want to know" I told him and he confirmed what he told me he'd known from the start, we were blessed with another little girl! At 5lb 12oz she was so much tinier than I expected but perfectly healthy. As soon as she was swaddled in Lee's arms next to me, she proceeded to fall straight to sleep!

5.16am internal bleeding, requested the presence of Mr Reid, consultant. 2 x blood units requested. 2 x blood units ordered

After the initial delight at Florence's birth, I was aware of a hell of a lot of suction going on. There was some discussion and I was informed that the consultant would be coming in to assist. It was now that I started to feel as though I was getting feeling back. I told the anaesthetist and further drugs were administered through my cannula. For nearly 20 minutes, the registrar and surgeon were stood, packing my uterus trying to stop the bleeding, waiting for the consultant to arrive. No one was saying much and I was starting to get worried. Again I started to feel pain, more alphentanol was administered and a further cannula was put in my other arm.

5.35am consultant arrived
5.45am consultant scrubbed and into theatre
6am first blood transfusion
6.30am second blood transfusion

Upon arrival, the consultant and registrar checked my total blood loss and it was confirmed as 2 litres and there were multiple bleeding points from the endocervix. The consultant managed to get the bleeding under control with multiple, small stitches and a pressure ballon was inserted as compression to help stop any further bleeding before stitching up. A cut was made above the incision and a drain inserted to clear any further bleed, should it occur.

Throughout this process, I continued to get feeling back again and again and the drugs chart in my notes shows how two different drugs were given regularly throughout my time in theatre so much so that for the last half an hour I fell asleep. As they had started to consider general anaesthetic to finish off, this was probably for the best! After 2 hours in surgery, I woke up in recovery with 2 cannulas, a drip, a drain, a catheter and a tube from the balloon preventing further bleeding. It's fair to say, it was a shock.

7.05am into recovery
7.10am skin to skin with baby
8.15am oramorph administered orally

As requested, as soon as I was able, our baby girl, whom I'm sure you know, we named Florence was placed on my chest and I finally got my long awaited skin to skin. To finally hold her was the most amazing feeling and momentarily I forgot all the pain and cried with happiness, not fear.

After meeting recovery criteria, I was moved back onto the labour ward, a requirement under these circumstances where I would spend the first night. Unable to move from the bed, I relied on Lee, family and midwives to help me with everything from passing Florence to me when she needed to feed to getting me food and my toothbrush. As someone who would much rather do things myself, relying on others was incredibly frustrating. Equally, I'm incredibly grateful for that time and the midwives who helped me through that first night, successfully establishing breastfeeding.

From then on, my recovery continued in the right direction and after an awful second night on a shared ward in postnatal, I came home for a night to my midwife led unit. I had my own room with ensuite with the most amazing midwife care.

After the birth

My whole birth experience has left me with incredibly mixed emotions. On one hand, I feel I've had to grieve for the calm, natural birth I wished for; on the other, I am completely humbled and thankful for the amazing health service we have. I am so glad I had the chance to go through my birth notes and fill in the gaps. Nikki was so patient, explaining everything and had even come in on her day off to do my appointment. It has definitely helped me get the closure I needed.

If you think a TalkAbout appointment could help you, call 01952 565990.

Sleep deprivation and how to cope

So nearly 6 months in (8 days to go!) and we are STILL struggling with sleep. We're pretty lucky that Florence gives us our evening time but come 11pm, we're up every 2 hours nearly every night. With Isabella to get up for the school run, different baby groups and jobs to do, it's fair to say I've felt on the edge of insanity a few times (to which Lee had been on the receiving end- sorry!) There's a reason sleep deprivation is a form of torture! These are my top tips for surviving those sleepless nights.

An early night

Many times in the early days, as soon as Isabella was in bed, so was I. Trying to pack in some kip earlier on in the night was key. With Lee away working this was much easier; even if I have no idea what's happening in the soaps these days. Going to bed at 7pm hasn't been sustainable with housework to do but I try to be in bed for around 9-10pm- rock and roll!

Keep drinking

In the early days of breastfeeding, I was in such a good routine of drinking plenty of water. Now, not so much! Keeping yourself hydrated is a great way to try and keep fatigue at bay for as long as possible. I'm guilty of turning to coffee first but I definitely notice a difference if I make the effort to drink water.

Eat

On more than one occasion, I've got into bed and then remembered I didn't have tea. Isabella is of course fed and watered but the sudden stomach growling is a reminder that I should have had an evening meal. When sleep deprived, it's natural to crave sugar for an instant energy hit. I literally can't count how many chocolate bars I've eaten on maternity leave so far. No no, not single bars, family sharer bars!! Yes, sugar takes the edge off, but a decent meal keeps you going for longer.

3 days old

Always ask

I hate asking for help. I'll always try and do things myself before turning to others. Not a boast, in fact often a curse. This time around, I had no choice. Unfortunately time doesn't stand still once you've had a baby, partners need to go back to work, meals need to be cooked and the school run done. I didn't ask for help, I was told I was getting it. Family members were life savers when I was banned from pushing the pram or exerting myself, which could have compromised my recovery. A pair of hands to make you that cuppa or shove a pizza in the oven so you can grab a nap is priceless.

Breathe

My biggest feeling of guilt came from first bringing our new baby home. Life changed instantly for Isabella. Suddenly she had to share the Mummy and Daddy she'd had to herself for 4 and a half years. With a baby constantly attached to me and barely a wink of sleep, the constant questions and requests sometimes were too much and more than once I cried with frustration at feeling so thinly spread. Taking a deep breath and just a moment to clear your mind does wonders. Isabella is now an amazing sister but those early days were definitely the most difficult and emotional all round.

Patience

Lower your expectations. Your next door neighbour's, friend's, sister's baby might have slept through since day nought but not every baby will. Don't compare and you'll find yourself relax and follow your baby's cues much easier. I was guilty of comparing with Isabella and ended up feeling so much pressure to try and get her to sleep through. This time, I've definitely relaxed more. That's not to say it's easy hearing about others sleeping through but I do know this isn't forever.

Nap

3 months old

I put this one last for a reason. It really isn't always possible. I always say I should do it more but I'd end up stressed out at a messy house, go to bed late and ultimately reverse any positive effect. At least once a week, I keep a day free to stay at home and if we don't nap, at least rest.

So the battle continues. It's good to vent every now and then, especially with other mummy friends who know exactly how you feel and have also put the cereal in the fridge. Ultimately we'll plough on, keep doing what we're doing and when Florence does sleep through (hopefully before she's 21), well I shall be very happy!

#AlwaysAsk: Isabella - Our preemie

5 years ago to the day, I was 29 weeks pregnant with Isabella. Little did I know that in just 3 weeks time, she would be here.

Two days before Isabella arrived, I started with mild contractions but a call to the unit at the hospital reassured me this was just braxton hicks (false labour pains).

The pain got worse so I went home early from work and called the hospital again to be told it definitely sounded like braxton hicks. After that, and a hot water bottle, the pain died down and I went to work the next day. The pain came back ten times worse and to this day, my ex colleagues talk about me doing the pregnancy rock. I remember walking around the supermarket after work having to stop and grip the freezer as the pain was so bad. I carried on, this was after all, braxton hicks.

That night, I was up and down the stairs, couldn't sleep. It wasn't until 4ish in the morning after a bloody show that I called the unit and was advised to come straight in. On arrival at the hospital and after being checked by a doctor AND a senior doctor, it was confirmed I was in fact fully dilated. The baby was coming.

At 5am, Isabella came into the world, crying thank goodness and I was able to have a quick hold before she was whisked away. The next time I saw her a few hours later, she was lying in an incubator, covered in tubes and wires; easily one of the scariest moments of our lives and when reality suddenly hit home.

Amazingly just 3 weeks later, after very little sleep and relentless breast pumping to at give Isabella the very best start I could, she came home and was admired for her 'remarkable' strength by the neonatal consultant.

At nearly 5 years old, you wouldn't know Isabella was a preemie. She's as tall as, if not taller than some of her peers, is doing well at school and is inquisitive and loving.

The reason I wanted to share my story is that some parents aren't as lucky as us. A new campaign by Tommy's Baby Charity, King's College London and BabyCentre brings to light a worrying statistic. More than 60% of pregnant women worry about wasting midwives time when raising health concerns. I felt exactly that way. I'll always carry my 'what ifs' with having Isabella early. What if I'd pushed for a check up? Could I have carried her to term? I'll never know but I do know I am truly grateful of the care we both received.

#AlwaysAsk is about trusting your instincts and if things don't feel right, go straight to your midwife. We're so fortunate to live in a country with an amazing healthcare service, it is there for YOU, as are your midwives. Listen to your gut and don't be afraid to ask. Here are Tommys' Top Tips for speaking up.